Mother's Day mishap

Well, it has finally hit me. My husband will not be coming home for months. It only took two weeks to sink in.

It hit me on Mother’s Day, the day most mothers are pampered. I woke up that morning to an e-mail from my husband telling me how great of a mother I was and he would call me later in the day. I waited all day for his phone call. About the time my daughter and I leave the house to get dinner, he calls. However, I didn’t have signal on my way out of housing and I missed his call. After listening to the voice mail he left, I couldn’t hold back the tears.

When we returned home, I just held my daughter and cried because we had missed Daddy’s phone call. And at that moment, it really hit me. I couldn’t pick up the phone and call him back. I just asked myself, "How could I have missed the call?"

That night as I laid in bed, I couldn’t help but kick myself in the rear for leaving the house when I did. But the more I thought about it, the more I told myself I cannot put our lives on hold to sit by the phone. Our lives still have to roll even when Daddy is gone.

I think that is the hardest part about being at home without your spouse. Although they are gone, we still have to keep the house running. Now I have to play Mommy and Daddy. Before, I could always depend on him to help with dinner and the cleanup afterward. I knew he would help with laundry, even if it was just putting it in the washing machine. Now, I have to do it all on my own — and with a 1-year-old at my heels.

However, it kind of gives me a sense of empowerment. I know I can do it on my own and the house isn’t going to fall apart without him being there. I can be the chef, maid, disciplinarian and chauffeur. I have a new confidence in myself I didn’t have before.

I recently read a letter from TV personality Ben Stein, who wrote to a group of military wives in Fort Lewis, Wash., in 2004.

"The wives keep up the fight even when they have to move every couple of years, even when their checks are late, even when they have to make a whole new set of friends every time they move," the letter read. "Without them, we are nothing at all. With them, we can do everything. They are the glue that holds the nation together, stronger than politicians, stronger than talking heads, stronger than al Qaeda."

I have been told many times I am a strong woman. I can overcome this situation. And as my grandmother always says, "This too shall pass."

There is an end in sight ... it just happens to be in September.